feliz navidad!

oh.... feliz navidad a todos! salud paz y amor mucho mucho amor, a k sentirnos vivos!




me regalaron el cd de pearl jam... the new one! Roger mi amigocho thanks! por el cd y la movie me facinaron! weeeiiiii.....

Aun es christmas, me voy a ver la movie in to the wild!

enjoy this song.....Pearl Jam!!!

.......

ideas nuevas

es inevitable... siempre me questiono sobre el futuro. Casi nunca tomo decisiones sin seguridad. Les explico, siempre que decido algo en mi vida es porque lo analizo, y casi estoy segura de los resultados! Pero hace tiempo tengo algo en mente, y no e tenido los huevos de hacerlo! Pero si lo e pensando por tanto tiempo y me tiene loca! y siempre regresa porque no lo ago!

me inspire... oh mejor dicho me inspiraron, una chica de N.Y me dio una patadita!!!

el otro dia trabajaba, y una chica me pregunta el precio de un gorrito... linda la chica, de raza morena. Ya le dije que el gorro estaba a 29 dolares y mas apatrte un descuento de 15% por la navidad... se lo ponia y se lo ponia... y le deje, "don't think abt it so much take it, it looks great!" me explicaba que le facinaba pero originalmente era para una amiga boricua en Nueva York. Oh! le contesto yo... no agarramos charlando, ella me platicaba que ella es de N.Y y sorprenderia a su mama para la navidad! La chica me inspiro confiansa! y le platique la idea loca que tenia en mente y como me queria mudar!... yo le pregunte que como se le hacia un cambio tan radical! y muchas otras cosas... Cuando le dije que me queria mudar me dijo "DO IT!" es la primera persona que me dice do it! ella lo hizo... porque yo no podria? ademas yo tengo plan! me iria con trabajo.... ayyy si lo quiero hacer me quiero mudar! y ya tengo esta idea por varios anos....

si me da miedo! pero ya soy grandesita! y siempre tendre mi home in L.A... gente nueva! calles nuevas! ideas nuevas! ohhh si es loca la idea pero lo quiero hacer!

llenere la applicasion ASAP este es mi ano para cambiar!

.... yes! tengo muchas ganas de vivir!!!!!! freeeeeee like a bird freeeeee...

If my honey come back...

sometime! sometime! sometime!





I love this beat! I love his weird music... makes no sense but great beats!


if my honey come back!

sometime SOMETIME!


... bye bye :)

The holidays

Here we come... holidays of 2009!

they call me the grinch! Niaccccaaaa niacccaaaa....

They make me sad... all the ppl, the holiday songs, the fake plastic tress.... ohhhhh I wish I believed in Santa. Everything seems so cold... and ppl miss the point of the holidays.

We get to see people we don't really like, and gain weight....

She makes them better.... the holidays are for her....

hahaha she makes me crazy... holiday crazyyyyy

Look mammas! and to our left we can see cottonhill.... the lady I was telling you abt that drinks too much of that holly water jaja

Stickers stickers they r everywhere on me on her my car, the walls there are stickers all over the walls.... ehhhh let her be she is a child!

Muah..... now holiday shopping, and mangoniadas in Highland Park, best mangoniadas ever!

If your get sad like me during the holidays... don't worry it's normal, I think.... jejeje

.......

Guadalupe

Y esto es lo que pasa cuando tienes una prima en tu casa que es super Mexicana y aparte religiosa! jaja

El cuandro ya lo tenia yo colgado en la pared, pero Fanny quizo que bajaramos a la virgen y le prendieramos su veladora, por ser su dia! no puedo creer que esto este en mi cuarto!!!

no es malo pero pues nunca eh sido muy religiosa que digamos y se siente raro...

Bueno hoy por la virgen! bye bye guys! happy weekend!

mi mesita vieja que compre en en las yardas jaja

......

Antonia

esta song me relaja! ellos me relajan!




Me siento mejor! yay!!!

ayer llovio, hoy salio el solesito!!! k me caliente ese solesito!

:)

la midad

Last night I layed in bed, thinking FUCK ya es Diciembre, que hize todo el an-o?

Pense y pense...

Cambie mucho, that is for sure!

Mi personalidad no, creo que nunca dejare esa cambiar, no quiero cambiar de esa manera, pero mi manera de pensar. Que no todo en esta vida es para siempre. Antes queria que las cosas bonitas me duraran toda una enternidad!!! Pero ahora me doy cuenta que mucho mejor disfrutarlo mientras esta presente, porque uno nunca sabe si volvera a estar en ese lugar, al mismo tiempo, con la misma gente, con los mismos sentimientos, con el mismo sol, con las mismas vibras, y con la misma maneras de pensar.

Aun que aclare cosas del corazon quede inquieta...

No quede satisfecha.

Siento que alguien se quedo con un pedasito de mi, y lo pier de todo, que no tiene ni la peor idea de como me dejo.

EL me dijo tanto esa noche y es cuando me di cuenta que no soy yo, el problema no lo tenia yo. El problema era su infelicidad, y todas las negativas con las que me dejaba. Aunque NUNCA lo olvidare, de esas personas que se quedan calcadas en tu piel! Lo voy a extranar un chingo! Lo peor de todo es que me preocupa en el estado que esta, y yo sin poder hacer nada, porque no me deja!

Me hubiera facinado ser su amiga, pero para que me ago pendeja? No lo miro con ojos de amistad.

People always ask me, why are your eyes so watery? like they are about to burst in tears, I always say they are by daddys eyes, it's a sparkle we have! jaja half the time though I do want to cry. I always cry.

.......

en tus pies

I want to think that everything, EVERYTHING in this planet happens for a reason...

As a child we fall so many times to get up! to built courage, to learn to get back on that fucken bike!

Or like me as a teens I acted like others, to see if I was like them, or I ditched school to see if I was a bad bitch, that didn't work, I went to church to see if God was in me.... that didn't work! jaja I even did my first communion!!! I tried and tried til I found me!... the stupid things I did to try to find myself!

Then I got to the young adult stage, I survived! haha Now the real adult... lets see how that goes...

I'm not sure why I am talking about this... last light I went to Villa in Pasadena, I meet some very interesting people... I'm not sure why they tried analyzing me or it was just that guy Melik I meet. These guys were older, and I think, I am just starting my real adult life, I mean I still live at home, these people own so much, and have real jobs ect....

This guy asked me questions about me, and I saw it in his eyes, he wanted to read everything about me... I felt like in school when you have to introduce yourself to everyone in the class jaja

After a while of asking me so me many questions about my career and job, and my future goals, and my Masters degree...he said "i think you are an IS something something"

I said "excuse me?" He said "yeah your personality.... it's an IS something" (Damn I can't remember the rest of it....maybe it was the jack n coke in my system jaja)

What was that? what was that type of personality, he never explained it... I will ask again if I ever see him, I am very interested in this, is this a good personality? and to the eyes of who?

haha

things like this make me wonder the character and personality even the life style of others... what it is to live your life? how interesting is it? what does your house look like??? what does your closet contain? how much money is in your bank? what do you feel that I can't see?

what stresses YOU...

I would, I would trade my life with someone for a day, just to see how your grounds feel.



.... do not believe everything I say, I'm kinda crazy! haha


...now work, uff... oh no.... :-/

simplemente nada

Ah como extrano las conversaciones con mi sista... extranar es bonito, recuerdas con felicidad, pero me hace falta el pasado... lo bueno es que uno nunca sabe lo que ocurra en un futuro...

Claro siempre es mi hermana, es solo que las cosas cambian, ella hace su vida, y yo trato de encontrar mi lugarsito en este mundote! ahhhhh mire el blog de una chica, me inspira a salir de mi casa! jaja de explorar horisontes new!



Good night! no se que ago despierta... las montanas se queman! again!!! L.A is always burning



:(.....

ohhh Sofie!

ohhh mi linda nina! look how big she is now! growing n growing!



ya habla!


trash, bibi, turtles, bird, mimis, sopa, agua, plizzzzzzzzz (cuando le coviene) "be nice" le grita a muneca y le apunta con el dedo indice! jaja oh she is such a bright girl! she gots it all the looks and brain jaja one day she is going to be a catch!

Me sorprende con las cosas que me dice, y como me las dice! como sabe cuando decir que!?!? She is one of a kind! la amo amo AMO! This is the real thing jaja

...and i want her to be arty! she draws and we put her drawings on my "wall" lol she even tells me where it look good! she is a natural, they don't look like much now, but soon she will get control of the markers!

muah to Fofi! she calls herself Fofi! when we wash and seperate our clothes, uan (Juans) eni (Vonny) fofi! (sofia)

Oh bye bye guys!

......

pain

Sometimes it makes me feel alive! when I cry my ass off.... it makes me feel, to feel that pain and ache in my heart, that pain is good, at least to me it is.

Lately everyday feels the same.... everyday feel like a routine, I HATE ROUTINE! I promised myself never to fall in to it... I'm falling. I need to stop and feel alive again.... I think I will take Omar's suggestion and join the gym as well, yoga should help


con los pies bien puestos sobre la tierra everybody! it's embarrassing to say that people have changed, and feel too good now! hah what makes you better? in your world you may be but in mine, you just look stupid for thinking that way! too good hah!

Can't change the world, even if we wanted to!

Ugh rampage day! I hate days like this, I hate fighting over the phone with my boss, I just hate it when idiots are above me! I hate it when things don't go my way due to elements beyond my control! When MY plans are destroyed because someone has power over MY time! I need to own business and make what I want of time!!! Alma actually asked me the other day that if I could own a business what would it be... I couldn't answer, I told her I never pictured myself owning a business... I hate business just the name gives me chills, I picture a group of money hungry people!

But if I could own a business what would it be? would I even be capable of achieving such a challenge? It's just such a HUGE responsibility over so many people! The problem is this, what is my passion? so many people have problems identifying their personality or identity, not me! I know who I am, and what I stand for, but what is my passion? life? yes for sure! but my talent? what is my talent? I wonder if everyone else is so sure of themselves and I am the only lost soul... I mean some sing, others dance, paint, draw, invent things, get me? but me... I don't know what is my thing... I hate feeling lost!

I just want happiness!
......

Part 2

Lo que faltaba de Halloween....

Ella con su pistola

Fuimas directo a Fullerton por alla al O.C wachout! hehe... tengo amiga que estudia en esa Universidad, y pues nos invito a un house party de un conosito. Alma y yo recojimos al demonio, spiderman, y al lava carros, chilango decia el!!! jaja y directo al party!

Los amigos de la noche...

Esa vicky me robo una de mis pistolas! jaja


El lava carros



Bad muneca!!!Hot chica!

aqui esta... alla nos encontramos con Robon! Y el luchador de las maquinitas.... un chino k pelea, como un ninja! iiiiYa! jaja y con un luchador pelionero, blah! k me decia lola la trailera! y yo... NO!!! soy la esposa de Mario Almada!! get it right! hay



Halloween como me gusta!!!

...:)

ohhhh....

Hoy me siento bonita, mejor, relax! Tania tubo se segundo bebe... Sebastian! bienvenido al mundo!

La extranoo canon!!! Ella si me entiende! y respeta... ella es mi childhood buddy! haha! todo lo vivido con ella.... no la veo mucho, ella se mudo a AZ pero cuando hablo con ella es como que la mire ayer... como cuando eramos ninas y hablabamos de pendejada y media de los hombres del make up, de ella muy flaca y yo muy gorda! su pelo chino... mi pelo necio, el eye liner! "changa!!!" "fish", vamos al parque! haha los jeans no me quedan! y ya mas grande hablabamos del noz! y los house parties, los libros, los hombres los hombres los hombres!!! the lack of the good ones! jaja Ella con su anotonomia y como no podia pasar la maldita clase! y yo con mi estupido libro de leyes! nuestras vidas muy muy diferentes muy muy! pero aun es la pinche china k conosi en Nimitz! con el mismo corazon y la misma manera de pensar! ahhh como extrano cuando me cantaba por telefono.... esa cansion de son by four...

"Perdona si te estoy llamando en este momento

Pero me hacía falta escuchar de nuevo

Aunque sea un instante tu respiración

Disculpa sé que estoy violando nuestro juramento

Sé que estás con alguien que no es el momento

Pero hay algo urgente que decirte hoy!!!

Que estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte

Agonizando, muy lento y muy fuerte...."

Hay Tanisha!

Y aparte nos se que pedo con San Pancho trip!...

Me compre una shirt nueva to make me happy! que nina i know

I gotta return those shorts I bought for halloween!

Y aun no se si visitar al viejo amigo...

Pero algo es seguro! Me siento mas relax

Y muneca siempre siempre sera el amor de mi vida jeje

....:)

mente en blanco

(SIGH) that's all I feel today... just a big sigh... I'm not sure if it is relieve or more of desperation.... today I came to the realization that everything, my beliefs, all the hopes, the dreams, the thought, the feelings I once had, went to the trash, down the drain, they were mierda....

Why do people appear to be someone they are not, why don't they keep it real! why do they confuse others, and the day they show their true colors I am left with the a 'whatfuck' face!

I gave... I gave it everything I had, I did like the book told me, and I lost... I lost soooo much in process, I lost what I believed in... But everything seem sooo real at the time.... so much passion n feelings..... I always said "good things always come to an end" but no I was wrong and confused.... good things don't come to an end.... if they end they weren't good.... they are disguised as good, but they are evil! super evil and full of negativity!

I am a strong one.... I don't think I had ever falling so low and for soooo long... and it is scary to think I am all alone in this one. I brought it upon myself, and as the woman I am I will get back up... I learned from everything, I don't take any of it back, but I do learn from experiences... I am scared of opening up in the future again.... Only time will tell...

I had it all planed out, everything calculated, Plans? what fucking plans? God laughs at people who make plans...

Am I sad? No... more like mad at myself, because only I have control as to how much people hurt me.... Did I react in a good way? Who knows I did in under impulse, without a thought.... for the first time I did things under impulse "i let myself go" DON'T DO THAT GUYS!!! think it through... you might get hurt...

But over all what was the lesson learned? There are MONSTERS out there dressed as humans ready to attack, ready to suck the life out of people without thinking twice with out a remorse.... Oh I guess we all have to do whatever it takes to make ourselves happy.... I can't believed he picked me.... why me? why out everyone, why would he want to hurt me!!!!

Oh.... where did the time go? When did I grow up?

Yesterday was a rough day, I fought, I felt, I cried, I understood the reality of some people, people who I thought I knew... and at the end all I could do was txt Roger and ask him to make me feel better.... n like always, he knows what to tell me to make me value myself again


And like a child I run to my mom for a hug.... "Aprietame muy fuerte mami" she tells me "me preocupas cuando me pides tus habrasos fuertes" "No me preguntes solo aprietame" and she did (I'm sorry mom, I don't know what I would do if I had me as a daughter...so different, so random, so unpredictable! I'm sorry!)

When did I grow up!!?!???!

When did I grow up to be this person I am now...I need to get away from my own self.... how is that possible?

How long before I feel 'me' again... happy and joyful me! crazy me! loca, si! pero nunca me dejare ser infeliz como otros!

one or two day.... then I live my life again!



"....In the dark of the night i can hear you calling my name
With the hardest of hearts i still feel full of pain
So i drink and i smoke and i ask you if your ever around
Even though it was me who drove us right in the ground


See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while i was dreaming of revelry

....so the time we shared it was PRECIOUS to ME
All the while i was dreaming of revelry

Dreaming of revelry

And i told myself for the way you go, it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods in the dark of the night
Palest of the old moonlight

Everything just felt so INCOMPLETE!

Dreaming of revelry, Dreaming of revelry! "

Music sure helps heal the soul....

Something tells me tomorrow will be a better day.... I feel it, the energies are changing....the winds are blowing in my favor!



..........

Halloween

Parte uno!


Edgar had a party at his house in compton yikes haha no it's not that bad, or i'm just used to the "ghetto"

Gay men! you gotta love them! they are like girls with out the bull shit... example... "Ed do i look fat in this dress?" "like a whale momma! pick another one!" "thank ya baby!" una chica me mentiria!

Army girl, me! Devil, Ed! doll, More!

Aguas con las pistolas! everyone loved my guns, hello! you can't be an army girl with out your gun!!!

that day I met a lil gay indian, he was soooo cute i just wanted to take him home with me, haha n put him on a shelve, like that childrens story.... oh God what was the name... where the indian toy comes to live....i can't remember, but kinda like that haha oh but that boy was so cute! he would laugh abt everything n soooo cute!

.......

halloween is the best! better than moat holidays thats fosore!!!!

...

stop swinging by my window dream!

Sometimes it all feels unreal, unatural, like a fairy tail...

Like any moment I will open my eyes and wake up from the dream...

Why do I dream? why do I dream the past... wait, but the dream catcher is up!.... what's up with that?

Then it's not a nightmare... it's just a dream, right?

They don't seem like nightmares but they are still horrible!

can dreams mean something?

It's like natural life bitting me in the ass!

Is it really true that if you dream someone they dream you? or they are thinking of you?

I think its true, wait... I want it to be true, it works to my advantage!

Do you dream me too?

How will I know.... How much of my dreams are true...

I've heard stories.... I can confirm that someone elses dreams are true.... But can someone confirm mine?

Please oh oh will someone confirm mine....

Don't you tell me you are mad now!!!

Don't break my heart that way!

not today

not anyday...

If I ask about the dream will you answer?

Baby don't leave me hanging.... answer the dreams... But if they are nightmares in real life.... get away from me negativity!!!



.......

wear sunscreen!

Watch this!!!




Isn't awesome!?.... get's you thinking huh....


good day!!! go do something that scares you!


hah y se rie de mi porque quiero un tat de un tree... F U ignornte... better than your tramp stamp!


......

1st rain of the yr

me levante algo agobiada.... como si fuera lunes... aun estoy en mi cama. Me levantan a las 6 y pico que si llevo a Juan a la escuela, ok chido. Luego entra mi ma a mi recamara para decirme nevermind, he went walking... in the rain! what walking in the rain to school? oh the rain, the first one of the yr... hopefully it rains a lot this year, it's been dry for the past couple of year. Total, se fue porque mi car no prende... no se que le pasa.... mi manana cancelada!!!

Y luego, me siento mal de nuevo... no se porque no me enfermo bien, o que se me quite la infeccion por complete. la garganta me esta matando, cada vez que paso saliva me arden las glandulas! Lo bueno k es mi dia libre y pienso quedarme en camita todo el dia.... de vez en cunado nos hace bien para pensar, tomarme mi te de manzanilla, y refleccionar lo que voy hacer de mi life. But you know what... I'm hopeful... en todos los aspectos de mi vida. si mando vibras positivas recivire energias positivas, well i like to think!


aki les dejo, ya k no pude ir.... y aun k quisiera con la unica persona que me hubiera gusta ir no se puede por razones estupidas!!!! ugh!


pearl! ese eddy what a talent!





today :hopeful

porque la vida tiene k tener cosas mejores, tiene!!!


...

haha

Just to add a lil more to yesterdays topic... Badu got's my back! haha




For those who don't know Badu... she is obviously being sarcastic!



peace homies ehhhhh jaja



.

se me olvido

I forgot.... I keep forgetting how to be skanky and slutty! how to have air in my head, and say "like" after every other word! I forgot to make to act ignorant and how not to be myself... I had forgotten what boys "dig" now a days.... fast! everything super fast, because now people have sex before having feelings.... how did we get to this? how do I fit in to this era? Sometimes I feel I should have been born 50 yrs ago.... or in another country... sometimes the U.S life is too fast, and too selfish! Or maybe this is how things are everyone else and i just don't know it.... Being my age is hard.... with the morals my parents gave me....

Ahhhh someone else will come, someone worth my time, someone who is interested in the personality and brain of this lady, and not the body, i am more than a body, and so are you!!!!


this is getting too depressing, positive thoughts!!! one day i will live under the sea! haha

My Ed always brings me happy thoughts... this was on monday, it was his 23rd! welcome to the club baby boo! cheken los posters detras haha i love gay men and gay bars!!! they are so chilllllll...... jaja

nos vemos! animo a todos los k esten single y sufriendo! haha

Un dia llegara uno k quiera saber de ti, y conoser tu personalidad y no solo lo k esta enmedio de las piernas!

fuera dolor!

haaaaaaaaaaahahaha!

today

we have our days... some days we feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, beautiful!!! fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, loved, lonely, adored, like a child, and old!!!! others satisfied, alive!!! full of life! free liberated! pressured, smart, hard working, and the great feeling of accomplishment!!! there is stressed, and bored!!! thinkable and thankful! uuuu adventurous!!! (days that I call "mission days" haha) annoyed, relaxed, and the good old bitchy days! flirty horny!!! hopeful! and helpful! all all alll ALL these feeling we have! and often we don't even realize, we just feel with out thinking! some days up others down or high n low .... or like radiohead says high and dry!!!!

some days we wake up feeling 20, others 36, then 25, 51, and my favorite feeling 5, 3, 7, and 9!!!

well today i feel like a stupid 13 yr old! who falls for pressure, and not what she stands for! who does things because she is 23 and that is what all 23 yr olds are doing!!! I made a mistake, I did! but as the adult I am, I'm fixing what has been done, because I need to feel good about myself!!! I need to love me and what I stand for, and do what my heart tell me and not what he tells me... because at the end if the day I love me more than I love anyone else!!! selfish? yeah maybe, but hey what can I say, you gotta love yourself to be loved!!!


... stupid like a 13yr old never again.... oh hellllll no never again!!!




..... yeah yeah!

FREE hugs

Oh i love this!!! Te regalo uno!?! How much a simple hug can bring so much joy!!! I love hugs, the real ones not the fake ones! the tight and long ones!!! sometimes all we need to cheer us up is one of these!

.............................FREE HUGS...............muah :)

yay yay!

n the song! i love this song!

Happy b-day Sil

Oh we took Sil to celebrate her 27th! ella dice 26 haha I think we should be proud of our age! remember we get wiser with age!

We had dinner at this sushi bar in Pasadena 'Tokyo Wako' yum yum they cook your food right in front of you, and if you ever go you have to try the green tea ice cream, it's the best! The only person who didn't come out in the picture was flaca, who decided to use the restroom....


haha but it's Oscar de la Hoya... he was eating next to us with his wife and friends.... I love L.A you find celebrities jeje

(click on the pix so you can see it bigger)

feliz 2nd 26th birthday!!! alli quedo mis amigos y familia y hasta Oscar jeje


Ay!!!! my throat still huts like a B*** can't wait to be well again.... see you all!







..

ella con su nueva comp!

oh! que les cuento :) por fin me compre una nueva comp! ya me hacia falta! con eso que me facina escribir y communicarme con los primos en Mex y todo eso lindo que se puede hacer atravez de una comp! y ahora con el spy hasta verse! que chido, quien iba decir que la technologia avansaria tanto en tan poco tiempo... haha me pongo a pensar como seran las cosas cuando sea viejita??? se van a burlaran los nietos de mi cause i won't keep up with tech! jaja i will always keep up!

solo queria decir eso, k me siento feliz con mi new laptop... ya me hacia falta! y creo k me la meresia, ya estaba enfadada de tener problems con la otra, aunque le agradesco a Sil que me la obsequio!!! she gave me a comp, can you believe that! who does that??? una buena amiga hace eso y mucho mas! thanks chivis eso nunca se me olvida!

es tarde, o temprano? son las 12 y pico de la madrugada... tenia mucho que no me quedaba escribiendo a estas horas....

Goodnight everyone....

oh oh... when you think distance is a problem, and you feel that not having that special someone close is unbearable... think again! as long as two humans communicate and share everyday as much as they can if it's through e-mail, photos, phone calls videos, written letters!!! btw written letters are the best!!!! time will pass and before you know it, that person will be next to you again!!!! by yourside! because always always remember, if it's meant to be, it WILL be!!!!! i'll leave with that one.

buenas noches!




....

mi mejor amigo

Ultimamente mi mejor amigo es mi Carnal... jaja Who would have thought.... we always have something to talk about... it's amazin how life works, there was a point in our lives where we could not stand each other. It wasn't until we arelized life is a lil better when we live it together, sharing and laughing together.


Although I do get scared.. I know he has never really liked the US and his heart is in Mexico, I fear him leaving... :( I hate thinking about it...

But you know what... he had told me he didn't want to continue his education, he wanted to take time off before he realized what his purpose in life was, which i completly understand and respect, but the other day he was telling me about attending Cerritos! weeeeeiiiiii :) I think he is going to college... listo es, he is super smart he is just lazy! not only that but it is true... we are expected to decide what we want to study, to lock ourselves to a career path at the age of 18! C'on! I look at a year back and I change every day! Every day i try to live and learn more! and that's just our nature....

He loves history and English... He reads... haha he reads a escondidas! so no one will see him but he reads... A while back I was reading "Mujeres en Conquista" by Cuauhtemoc... and he told me.... "Your reading it? It's ok, I expected more" Y yo... whata!?!? he read it? when? where? I don't know why he would hide it, but he does.... I like being around the fucker jeje siempre hai risas con el, habeses no se de donde saca tanta pendejada!

Ohhh y mi chulita! Ya esta bien grande! ya hasta habla! "mas" "agua" "bird" "ball" oh ya dice mucho!!! ella muy bilingue la chiquilla! la estoy haciendo hippie como yo jeje Well I'm not one, but ppl think I have an odd style of dressing and being.... como mi morral! haha Juan se la cura con mis ideas, maldito! muak lo amo!


bye bye.... smile everyone, you will look cutter! trust me :))))

Natalia

Ella siempre con sus canciones fuera de lo comun, por eso me gusta... Y dice mucha verdad! Acaba de producir un nuevo C.D pero la cancion que la dio a conoser en mi corazon fue con la En el 2000!






ya no soy aquella nina infantil! Ahora siente el corazon!!! PERO mi inosencia no se acabo! :)



...

A change, it's called 23!!!

Ugh! my body hurts.... I think I'm hitting another stage in life... Yeah you know, when you go from a girl to young lady, you get your period, your boobs grow, your hormones are like a roller coaster ect.. all those sweet things that happen hahaha.... pues si is there a change that we go from young lady to a 23 yr old!!! My period is changing haha (sorry boys) but I gotta let it out! I was so used to my period every month for 3-4 days that was it! easy work, normal no stomach pain, nothing! But now... Jesus Christ!!! I get pain and cramps 3 days before, as if I had it already but no! now i get a preview then comes hell...

I asked Alma she said it gets worst I guess by the time I hit 26 I will get hot flashes too! I kid you not, straight from the older sisters mouth... Not looking forward to that!

Let's see, I'll change it up a bit, period is not something everyone wants to read abt... we'll I've been here in L.A just no new laptop yet... therefore no pictures either, oh I know what I'll do hang on....

... there I wanted to show you my new hair band, my amigocha RUTH me la regalo, she brought it from Mexico, I love it! she always gives me the best things! SIEMPRE!!!

I will try to get my new computer after my trip Dinuba, which isn't really a trip, but a must do, you see my dads older sister passed this last week, and I will go for the funeral... Cancer, what a fucked up illness! But you know what.... My aunt was able to kill skin cancer, and cancer in her throat, it was the liver cancer that she couldn't survive, may she rest in peace... i know my dad is going through a lot right now... I hate ending this blog on such a harsh topic :- (

But I must depart... stay tune, I swear interesting pixs are on there way... a special thanks to Rosalinda who always finds the positive side to life... and soon I'll get a job where I put my B.S in action! Oh one more thing! apparently I graduated with honors from L.B, I didn't even know till I got a certificate from the president of the University saying I was on his honor list, pretty cool huh! I want to frame it, for some reason I am really proud of it! more than the diploma... maybe cause I already knew I would earn my diploma, but the certificate wow, I didn't expect that one :) congrats to me! jaja I'm not showing off, I'm just a tad proud of me!

ok see you folks!

n remember when life gives you lemons... drink a beer! haha

Chamomile tea is what I will drink, Sorry to all girls who have to deal with the monthly cramps! shhhh it happens when you turn 23! haha n at 26 hot flashes take a note! beware! haha I'm kidding I have no idea, I'm just making things up as they come to mind....

CHIO!

hoy

Hoy es otro dia guevon!

otro dia de nada... me levante a llevar la comp a la casa de sil, esta infectada de no se que, el caso que ya no prende... estoy en comp ajena buuuu! aqui con mi carnala, pero extrano la mia....extrano mis fotos y todas mis pertenencias... aun tengo fotos de Mexico que quiero subir, pero sin comp es dificil... tambien tengo carnala nueva! jaja

es hija de un tia que vive en Mexico, un dia subi fotos de esa tia, la de la batucada jaja, por hoy su hija vive conmigo por lo menos un par de meses, despues se regresa a estudia farmatologa algo y algo wow! jaja

ah y la foto... fue robada, la tomo la morena no si en donde ni cuando pero me gusto jajajaja

....

for the 1st time

I don't have a plan... for the 1st time i don't know where i will be tomorrow or in a yr or in the next 10 years! i was always to used to the plan! My problem now is that i didn't plan after my education... well i did. I planned to buy a house a better car, and to marry and have a family... y como diria la Danny " what a bunch of bullshit!" I realize it is! My life went from 100 to zero from one day to the other...


I was gone for a while, to only come back to the same problems... I ran out of plans... and I'm scared I don't know why... I don't know what is next... I don't know what to expect, I don't know what to prepare for! When I feel this way i hear this.... cause I can't live life scraed... I want to live day by day like the name of my blog :)




And like I read in a friends blog... "Jesus didn't say life would be easy, just that it would be worth it" or something like that... the message is the same!

I'll post picture from my trip as soon as I get a chnace... see you all!!!!


:0

...

jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa jajajajaja ajajajaja que feo cuando se burlan en tu face! jajjaaaaaaaaaaaa jajajajajaja jaaaaaaaaajajajajaja ajajajaja

ya regrese a mi casa con unos sentimientos confusos e dificil de explicar! Me gusto! extrañe mi house mi camita... pero que bonito es regresar a un lugar! que bonito es olvidar momentariamente!

")

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one more thing

before I leave to my trip....






No image... just listen, love it, feel it!

ok now I'm really off to a new world!


la la lala aha ha ha!!! weeeeeiiiii!!!! yayaya!!!

Adios

Nomas paso rapidisimo para decir adios! me voy a mi ranch a ver a mi otra mitad de family! extrañare blogging.... but I will be back soon so stay tuned!!!

... pasenla chido!

.

four agreements

Despues de todo lo que e pasado este ultimo año me pregunto... sera que todos los viejos son ijuales? si si todos son ijual de culeros y egoistas!!! que solo llenan su corazon ignorando al sexo femenino!?!? lo confirme y si es verdad! y ya no me importa una relasion como siempre la quize, porque ahora llego a la conclusion que todos los viejos son unos culeros estupidos injustos! Que todo eso que pensaba de un hombre no existe! porque son fantasias que las chikas nos creamos en la mente! y solo buscamos lala land! y el dia que llega un boy nos damos cuenta que todo lo que esperabamos era una mentira!!! una bil mentira creada por la sociedad! El punto es... que los hombres son cabrones, sin importar si son gordos, flacos, altos. chaparros, viejos, jovenes, negros, blancos, anaranjados!!! todos valen madre! todos son culeros!

Y despues de todo aun respiro! despues de el dolor, me paro y camino! porque yo si tengo mis four agreements!!! EVERYBODY! if you want to liberate yourself! you gotta read it the Four Agreements! It's like being born again, and this time you never lose you childhood! You never lose your mind and give society what they want! you live for you! no one else but you! You live the most magical dreams you've had! (NO i'm not high! read the book and you'll understand what I'm talking about!)

Hoy mi estatus es: hopeful!!!

...

It's amazing

I'm amazing! I amaze myself





Not in a good way... it's amazing my power of mind and the capasity I have to be able to detach people from life with such easiness. I do it all the time, since I can remember. I have so many ex people in my life, ex b/f ex friends... it doesn't take much for me to cut people out! I can live without talking to people I have had close relationships with... Some people say these are grudges. Yeah like if I hold grudges and I can't forgive or forget. I'm not sure that is correct in my case. I feel that someone has done something to hurt me, I have nothing to forgive them... It was their personal choice to attempt to hurt me, but it's not that easy to hurt someone like me... I just forget! I forget that that person ever did anything bad to me.... that the person ever existed. Their wrongful, thought, action, or says reflect them not me! So why should I worry of such people. I simply forget there was a friendship, and move on. I get no desire to talk to some people again. How cold is that? But I don't care.. I don't know why... I guess I know that there is a reason for evey thing and if people were good with me to begin I wouldn't detach YOU with such easiness....



Then it's a reflection of others not me... no no no no not me fosure not me... cause I at the end, I'm the one who keeps laughing!!! HAHAHA HAHAHA





....

My dad

El ingles de mi pa haha

I have never really talked about my family or past ... mostly the present and future... but any whom my dad! Well he was born in Mexico, and has accomplished a lot after stationing in the U.S but his English is hilarious! haha here are some of his words... (oh btw) and I know he pronounces them incorrectly to make my brother and I laugh!


Here goes nothing:

takirisi -take it easy
shugeraut!- you get out!
wachutoing?- what are you doing?
wassapeninn?- whats happening?
kamash como dice el gringo- how much like the gringos say
wassamarewiju?- what's the matter with you?
kattemit- God dammit

hay my pops! haha can't live with out the big man!

p.s that's my family :) oh i love 'em!


...

Michael Jackson

WOW... shock for everyone... may he rest in peace! what an artist!!! Jesus what a lost in the music industry! so many people grew up with this man's music! one of a kind!

1958-2009

...... there is a change in music....

El karma

Se especula que el karma es malo y quien sabe que madres. Como quien dice el que la hace la paga.... hhhhhhhhaaaa hahaha perdon si ofendo a alguien con mi punto de vista, pero el karma es una tontada, el karma es para la gente con mente devil, sabe lo que el karma es.... es la consensia que no deja a la gente vivir! y el dia que les pasa algo malo la consencia de sus wrong doings kick in. NO! como crean! no se dejen llevar por mytodolgia que anda de boca en boca! Al que le pasa le pasa... si te pasa algo malo es en el momento, porque no lo hiziste bien! porque ya te tocaba, yo estaba escrito en tu vida. El pasado es el pasado, capitulo olvidado!

Hoy escribo esto porque no dejare mi pasado ni nada malo que e hecho o me a pasado affectar mi futuro! hay cosas en mi vida que e decidido dejar en el pasado, nunca lo olvidare porque fueron lecciones en la vida, pero nada affectara la etapa nueva de mi vida! Agan lo mismo... don't let trips in your life affect your future! Porque el karma es algo que se invento para aquellos que la consiensia los mata! A mi no me mata! no dejes que te mate!

los dejo bloggers... it's my daddys birthday! time flies! it feels like yesterday that I was blogging his last birthdays pictures! I will go get his cake from Portos! yum yum! y mi ma' y yo lo aremos tamales jeje he loves them! nos vemos!

NEXT: Roger and I will go get his third tat :) I'm excited! OUCH!


....

it's been a while....

And It's been a while since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been a while since I could call you!





It's been a while since I can say I love myself as well and
It's been a while since I've gone and FUCKED things up just like I always do!!!


and it's been a while....that I'm not fully well... (sigh)as much as I try my best, I'm not okay!


....

UP!

An awesome story of an older man and his adventure!!! I recommend it! You'll enjoy every minute of it... Go watch it! (Disney didn't pay me to say this haha)

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refleccion

Ya todo me da ijual... me vale madres lo que la gente piense de mi! total, nunca le voy a cayar la boca a la gente, y nunca quedare bien con todo mundo.... ya no tratare de hacer feliz a otras personas, me e dado cuenta que me e olvidado de mi... y no me trata como lo deveria.... ultimamente e tratado de cuidar mi boca y lo que sale de ella no valla ser que en una de esas aga sentir a alguin mal, pero fuck that shit! People do not care about me then why should I? sere para mi misma, y me hare feliz yo misma, and I am not sorry if I hurt someones feelings cause from today and on I don't care! you don't care about me then why should I about you! ni que mantenieran!

Hoy digo whateva gente tarada!!!

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she graduated!

Por fin!!! por fin les platico mis logros! pues mi grande noticia es que ya estubo! me gradue.... Finally they were long 5 years of my life!!! through out my journey I met some very important people, me hize unos muy buenos amigos!

Tube mis largas noches sin dormir! College introduced me to beer, smokes, coffee, and monsters!!! haha gotta keep up to make those grades!

School educated me, but I learn about life!!! Long Beach was my home! and I miss it dearly!!! Oh my pyramid! haha

Enjoy the pics!!! I took a hell of a lot!

(Chris, linda chica, Escoto)

Tomabamos fotos mientras esperabamos y escuchabamos el Presidente de la Univessidad dar su discurso

Oh con mi amigocho el Enano...... y el cucu (haaaaaaaaaa hahaha)

Aww this piture Edgar took! He got me and Escoto... can you see us... lil us!

Roger y yop!

Walking out to meet our families

Entre tantos gritos y flashes escuchaba una voz que gritaba "chulis!!! chulis!!!" Voltie y era mi amor! :) Ed... que me hizo mi collar de flores!!! oh! como lo amo!!!

Mi carnal y mi chula Sofia!

Mis mejores amigas Chivis y Carol!

Mi papi! (si dije papi... soy un anena de daddy y k!) haha

Letty y Samantha (en pansita)

I love this picture! with my beautiful dress :)

My family! my energy! Mi todo!

Muah!

Arriba class of 2009!!!

CSULB! Crim. major Soc. minor! (Aqui quedo!)

:)