pain

Sometimes it makes me feel alive! when I cry my ass off.... it makes me feel, to feel that pain and ache in my heart, that pain is good, at least to me it is.

Lately everyday feels the same.... everyday feel like a routine, I HATE ROUTINE! I promised myself never to fall in to it... I'm falling. I need to stop and feel alive again.... I think I will take Omar's suggestion and join the gym as well, yoga should help


con los pies bien puestos sobre la tierra everybody! it's embarrassing to say that people have changed, and feel too good now! hah what makes you better? in your world you may be but in mine, you just look stupid for thinking that way! too good hah!

Can't change the world, even if we wanted to!

Ugh rampage day! I hate days like this, I hate fighting over the phone with my boss, I just hate it when idiots are above me! I hate it when things don't go my way due to elements beyond my control! When MY plans are destroyed because someone has power over MY time! I need to own business and make what I want of time!!! Alma actually asked me the other day that if I could own a business what would it be... I couldn't answer, I told her I never pictured myself owning a business... I hate business just the name gives me chills, I picture a group of money hungry people!

But if I could own a business what would it be? would I even be capable of achieving such a challenge? It's just such a HUGE responsibility over so many people! The problem is this, what is my passion? so many people have problems identifying their personality or identity, not me! I know who I am, and what I stand for, but what is my passion? life? yes for sure! but my talent? what is my talent? I wonder if everyone else is so sure of themselves and I am the only lost soul... I mean some sing, others dance, paint, draw, invent things, get me? but me... I don't know what is my thing... I hate feeling lost!

I just want happiness!
......