Carlos

I have something I feel I need to release... I never talk about it because I know it's not in my place to judge or question the decision of God. But after over 10 years I still do! I try not to but I can't help it question why why why why why why why!!!!?!?!?!?

Now I know we all gotta go sometime or another, that is our nature, we enter this world to one day depart onto to somewhere different, but really? that soon? I feel like if God didn't give me the chance to take advantge of him! and back then I was only eleven what did I know about life?but somehow now eventhough he is no longer with us, I feel we connect more! Now I wonder about the great conversations we could have had! He was different... not like most people, not afraid, he was him, he was like me... (I understand myself)

Now I understand his room, his posters, his way of dressing! Now that I look at it, he influeced me. His bob marley posters on the wall, his ub40cds, vanilla ice! bones thugs.... his crappy car and him not giving a fuck, cause you know why? that crappy car still got him around! Maybe thats why he left, cause he understood the reality of life and how most of what we get caught up doesn't matter... what matters is to keep you soul rich, and don't impress anybody cause the real you is impressive! But he knew that, he got the message of life early on! oh oh how I wish I could converse with him one last time... but one day...

This video is for him... thanks for everything!




He loved Bob!!! oh I wish for too much... I hope he sees me and I hope he is proud with I have made out of my life.


I love the natural way Marley singed!

: -/

my desk

and (sigh) this is what my desk looks like today, and how it will look till i finish this semester! i'm going nuts with my internship paper! can't wait to finally walk, and be done!!!

Animo Claudia! si se puede! eh podido por 5 años un 30 page paper can't stop me!!!

see ya guys, hope everyone is having a better weekend than me, cause this lady ain't going out!

.....

Thank you to you

A thank you to you, yes you silly goose! and you and you and you oh yeah and you too! Let's not forget you too!

I'm so happy! Someone reads my blog. I've always wonder if anybody cared to read... sometimes I thought it was me and only me in this cyber world, but nope. I just wonder who else reads me? who else sees my random photos, weird songs, and crazy ideas, my silly words, the way I express myself haha... more than anything I do it for me though.... serves as therapy I guess we can say... it's my self fulfilment! and that is the main goal! so far it's being achieved! yayyyyyayyyy!!!!

Se siento rico I must admit. Oh also happy my sista left me a comment :) I don't get many comments that's why I thought no one cared to read, but comments are nice....

Sometimes I think of deleting my blog... and I have this close to doing it, for one reason or another, but them again, I want to keep it going for years! that way when I'm 30 40 and 50 I can go back to my crazy state of mind as a young woman! haha me and my crazy thoughts!

Well today I blog for those who read me, thank you! se les agradese de corazon!!!

Hoy el cielo pinta azul! I love it when my days start blue!!! I just gotta keep it up this way ALLL day!

Have a fantastic day everybody!

:)

wrong turn

Not much to say... just... what way to go? I think I made wrong turn back there somewhere!



But there WILL be a brighter day!


.....

oh no...

Today I feel like crying, I am overwhelmed with my 30 page paper that I haven't started! I feel the end of school so close to me that I am scared of life after. I miss those days as a child! Today the entire day I have felt this way. To me it seems so interesting how as children we fight so hard to get to adulthood as fast as we can! We think that it will be great, not knowing that our childhood years are the best! that innocence we have, living life without worrying! playing ball! jumping rope! even fighting with our siblings haha I miss my childhood so much! no problems about paper, money, car issues, financial difficulties! no worry about career, or impressing anybody! no worries about boys and the problems they contribute!!!

oh how I miss being protected in my mothers arms!!! how Imiss hanging with her all day, dancing, laughing! cooking together... time flies! and all I have are memories of those great days doing nothing around the house and feeling awesome!!! oh oh oh oh... life must go on...

but I get tired of being a fighter all the time, I feel I need a shoulder to cry on... I feel I need protection...



.

nineteen

I can't really relate to it at this point of my life, but i love it... the innocence of a young love.... young love that at that age we feel we know it all.... and as we live we learn more more more and more! and i love it! every day there is something new to learn, to smell to feel! for better or worst we learn!





tuturu ru ru day!

:-/ hoy el dia pinta whateva!

Earth day!!!!!

Weeeiiiii! love it, live it, take care of it!!!

My favorite tree at Griffith Park!

Earthday! Plant a tree today! be GREEN!!!

:) Put a smile on yo face make the world a better place!


.

Dreamless

Siento explotar.... hay me siento con ganas de quebrarme, con ganas de ser niña de nuevo. Basia, eso es me siento basia... sin palabras, no se ni porque estoy postando hoy... siento ganas de esribir pero no se ni de que, el basio por dentro no me deja ni pensar... ya esta les contare de mi problema con los sueños...

Les cuento... yo antes era una soñadora regular.... osea soñaba todas las noches, y me levantaba feliz, relajada, sorprendida, o hasta pendeja de las cosas que soñaba, el caso es que soñaba! Pues de un tiempo para aca soñaba feo... siempre lo mismo, escusados! escusados y mas escusados! que horror! era feo! unos sucio llenos de caca, otros grandisimos, otros sin privacidad!!! otros explotando mierda! toilets everywhere! guacala cochinadas!

Bueno el caso que me enojaba yo misma, por soñar tanta pendejada! porque? Un dia se lo comente a Bree, una amiga, me llama ese mismo dia por la tarde y me dice que soñar escusados representaba angustia, y tener cosas en el pecho y no dejarlas salir. Como que si andaba con penas en el alma.... Me dijo "release those feelings Claudia or the dreams won't stop" pero no que feelings? no se que es lo que tenia que soltar!!!

paso el tiempo y los suños estupidos continuaron! que asco!!! se lo comente a mi carnal! y como siempre el hermano cariñoso que tengo, me dijo que lo que tenia era mierda en la cabeza! pero se me hizo muy curioso... despues de un par de dias el fue a una cabaña por alla en apple valley... y de regreso me trajo un dreamcatcher! no crean habeses hasta a mi me saca de onda el chaparro... me llego diciendo que era una tradision de los native americans y prevenia sueños feos entrar por as noches. Creencias de culturas diferentes, pues le di la oportunidad al dreamcatcher. Alli andamos colgando el maldito dreamcatcher en la ventana, solo funciona si esta en la ventana o al respaldo de la cama....

Ahora ya no sueño... ni bueno ni malo... The dreamcatcher killed my imagination... o no se que paso... me desespero, no sueño, o quisas si lo ago y no lo recuerdo! Extraño soñar!!! un chingamadral!!!

este es el plan, bajare el dreamcatcher... solo por unos dias, haber si haci si sueño.... veremos si funciona, lets hope for the best!


***ese es el lindo dreamcatcher que me regalo mi carnal... la foto la tome el dia que me lo regalo, ese dia era feliz porque se me hacia tan lindo el obsequio, y la idea del dreamcatcher en general!! thanks carnal, pero lo bajare, quiero soñar de nuevo!!!




ciao crazy ass bloggers!!!

Batucada!

I'm back from the dark! I haven't been blogging lately.... I have time but not really. I've been high and low... side to side... all over the place!

Este post es para mi aunt de Mich. Mexico! nos dio una visitadita! Siempre es un placer tenerla en mi housita...

Nomas estuvo un par de dia, la lleve a varios lugares k pense le gustarian... desidimos Alma y yo llevarla al puerto de Long Beach... miramos, comimos, y escuchamos tambores lejanos.... hay vamos... era una batucada de hippies!

Mi mom, Morena, y la tia Gloria!

Gente de differentes edades, culturas, colores, razas, looks differentes! Se me hizo super cool! Apenas el dia anterior mi tia me preguntaba de la cultura Americana.... Yo le conteste que heramos un tutifruti! un poco de todo America es un pais mucho mas nuevo y nuetras eventos especiales cada quien lo trae de su pais de origen... me contesta "creo que entiendo"....

La batucada no pudo haber llego en otro tiempo perfecto! le dije "tia esta es la cultura Americana... un poquito de todo, somos una formacion de todos los paises del mundo!"

Aqui mi tia.... como me gusta tomar fotos inesperadas! donde la expresion no son finjida con una sonrisa solo para salir bien en la pic... cheken la attencion que ponia a la genete que bailaba

mi mami y More

haha este hombre me causaba tanta risa.... que manera de bailar en los patines! paresia gusanito

La gente con sus tambores, y los que quirian pasaban a meniarlo jaja

mi carnala y yop

"no que fulanita y mangandita blah blah..." jeje las hermanas! me recuerdan tanto a Alma y yo cuando nos agarramos a platique y platique.... como que si tenemos años sin vernos!

Ese dia mi tia presento una idea que a mi me facino!!! Dijo una vacasion super familiar! donde todos los hermanos se juntaban en una locasion y pasar una semana juntos, no se cancun, puerto nuevo, colima.... yo estoy mas puesta que nada.... espero k si se nos aga realidad seria super!!! A tambien platicaba de sus planes de comprar una casa en Tepic, para cuando se retirara estubiera mas serca de mi abu.... se me hace super porque ya tenia pensado hacer lo mismo, tepic o guadalajara.... Fanny tiene planeado estudiar en Guadalajara... seria super vivir con esa flaca! solo el tiempo dira....

see ya soon guys!!!! futuros planes... ir a 6 flags y al juego de base.... weeeeiiiii!


:D


....

que noche

que noche la de anoche....

dame otra cerveza!

a k hombre tan mas enfadoso!

dame otra chela!

donde chingados esta el Enano?

dame otra bien fria!!!

Estas chicas son de lo peor!!!

Un patron!

Porque me hablas haci???

Me prendo como cuete!

Porque me siente sola!?

Pero dame otra cerveza!!!

Extraño mis amigas! amigas de verdad! mi carnala!

Moreno no me mires haci!... con esos ojos haci! no soy tu chica typica! no te imagines cosas! no tengas ideas morbosas... no me grites haci!!!

No estoy peda! no me hables haci... yo solo quiero ayudar! k no me hables haci... soledad interna en un lugar lleno de almas perdidas...

a que noche la de anoche... tan mas rara... k gente differente... no es mi onda... no es mi gente... no me nace ser haci...

todo se acavo antes de empezar... que noche la de anoche!


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